Succubus Blues CHAPTER 18

Around go the adjacent morning, the scream jolted me disclose of a dream Id been having ab snuff it away jellyfish and mint chocolate chip ice cream. Rolling of all timeywhere, I picked it up, disc everyplaceing in the process that I ached a lot less(prenominal) than I had finishing night. Immortal healing in action.Hello?Hey, its Seth.Seth Yester daylights evets shake uped binding to me. The birthday rivey. The ice cream. The perfume. I again wondered who hed had to meet by and by displace me off at the withstandstore.Hi, I gushed, sitting up. How ar you? no bad. Im, uh, over at Emerald City, and I didnt see you they said its your day off.Yeah, Ill be book binding tomorrow.Okay. So, um, do you deprivation to maybe do somewhatthing today? Lunch? Or a movie maybe? Unless you turn over other plans no non exactly I bit my lip, silencing the immediate acceptance that essentialed to restrict forth.I still had that strange, inexplicable attraction and sense of com fortable familiarity with Seth. I would carry want to hang come step to the fore with him more, save I had already tried walking the line of friendship and dating with Roman, only to waste that blow up in my suit. It would be far better neer to get started with Seth, despite my bulkyings. Besides, I hadnt forgotten about(predicate) my angelic date I didnt sincerely want him tagging along. Best to keep Carter in admittances as long as equally. neertheless Im sick.Really? Im sorry.Yeah, you k straightaway scarce that physique of campaign- buck purporting. It wasnt entirely a lie. I dont really feel up to getting out today.Oh. Okay. Do you need whateverthing? Do you want me to take a crap up you any victuals maybe?No no, I hastily aw be him, banishing images of Seth feeding me chicken soup while I lounged close to in cute pajamas. Christ. This was going to be harder than I thought. I dont want you to recall for to keep taking dish out of me. Thanks, though. I dont mind. I mean, no problem.I should be in tomorrow, if this doesnt get worse so Ill see you so. Maybe we shtup have coffee. Or rather, Ill have coffee and you rat not have coffee.Okay. Id like that. Not having coffee, I mean. Would you mind that is, tail assembly I check on you later? Call you again?Sure. The ph 1(a) was safe enough.Okay. If you need anything before thenceI issue how to create you.We said our nighbyes and disconnected, and I clambered out of bed to see what mischief Carter had managed this morning. I arrange the angel sitting on a s likewisel by my kitchen counter, feeding Aubrey sausage with one hand while he held some sort of breakfast sandwich in the other. An enormous McDonalds bag sit on the counter near him.I made breakfast, he told me, eye on Aubrey.Dont give her that, I chastised. Its bad for her.Cats dont eat kernels of dry food in the wilderness.Aubrey couldnt survive in the wilderness.I scratched her peak, alone she was more provoke in li cking the gr easiness off her chops. Opening the bag, I rear a variety of sandwiches and hash br consume patties.I didnt know what youd want, Carter explained as I pulled out a Bacon, Egg, & Cheese Biscuit.I bit into it, run at that scrumptiousness, grateful weight gain and cholesterol were nonevents for me. Hey, wait. Did you actually go to McDonalds?Yup.I swallowed the food. You just go away? Just now?Yup.What kind of bodyguard ar you? What if the nephilim came hind end and attacked me?He eyed me and shrugged. You look okay to me.Youre not very dear at this.Who was on the phone?Seth.The author?Yeah. cherished to hang out today. I told him I was sick.Poor blackguard. Youre break of serve his heart. split that than something else. I finished the sandwich and went for a second one. Aubrey watched me hopefully.So what are we doing today? nix. At least, Im not going out, if thats what you mean.You arent going to attract nephilim tending that way. He glanced some my apartmen t and grimaced when I didnt respond. Its going to be a long day then. I hope you at least have cable.We spent the rest of the morning more or less staying out of each others way. I permit him use my laptop, and he got caught up in surfing eBay. What he could be looking for, I had no idea. As for me, I stayed in my pajamas after all, tossing a robe over them and deeming that good enough. I attempted to clamor Roman once, knowing Id need to guinea pig him eventually, only when I only managed to leave a voice transmit message.I hung up with a sigh, opting to curl up on the border with a book Seth had recommended in one of his e-mails.Just as I was starting to specify Id recovered from the dense breakfast and demand lunch, Carter suddenly peered over the top of the laptop, like a hound sniffing the wind.I have to go, he told me abruptly, standing up.What? What do you mean? Nephilim signature.I bolted unsloped from my lounging position. What? Where?Not here.With that, he blinke d out of sight.I sat at that place, looking around uneasily. Whereas earlier Id snarl stifled by his strawman, his sudden dethawance became a gaping hole in my environment. I was exposed. Vulnerable. When he didnt throw in a a few(prenominal) proceedings, I tried unsuccessfully to pay fear to my book, finally giving up after Id reread the same designate five times.Still wanting lunch, I called and ordered a pizza, do sure I included enough for Carter. Doing this wasnt the best of ideas on my part since it meant opening the door eventually. When I did, I expected no less than an army of nephilim extraneous. Instead, I only found a bored-looking pizza guy, demanding $15.07.I munched on the pizza and tried to watch television with little luck. round to the laptop, I checked my e-mail and found that Seth had sent me a funny letter, much more eloquent than our earlier conversation, per usual. It only provided temporary worker distraction, and I was on the verge of gaolbreak out the paint-by-number kit when Carter blinked backward into my living room.What the hell was that? Where have you been?The angel regarded me with a calm, wry make a face. sonant there, havent you ever heard of respecting boundaries in a relationship? It was in that book you were so quick to discard.Cut it out. You cant just say nephilim signature and then disappear like that.I can actually. I have to. He found the cold pizza on my counter and bit into a piece. Swallowing, he continued, This nephilims got a real twisted sense of humor. Every once in a while, it likes to unmask flash us, so to speak. This time it came from West Seattle.You can detect that from this far away?Jerome and I can. We neer catch the creep, but we have to check it out anyhow. Leads us on a fresh chase.The implications seemed obvious to me. So you leave me? What if its a setup? What if it flashes you over there and then zaps back to me while all the attentions away?It cant just zap around. Nephilim d ont scat like higher immortals do theyre constrained by the same limitations as you, fortunately. This one would have to get in a car and labor back over here, just like everyone else, which would hardly be a speedy process. Youre protected by miles of traffic congestion.Weird. equivalent we said, theyre unpredictable. They like breaking rules, shake up the status quo just to see what well do.Weird, I repeated. Does it even know youre there? That its making you drop everything and come?If the nephilims close enough, itd be able to sense the teleporting but nothing else past that. As long as were masked, our identities, strength, and whatever stay hidden. So, if it is lurking, it knows two higher immortals came to check it out, but not much more than that.And it just watches and waits, I concluded. Kind of twisted. Lord, these things are a pain in the ass.Tell me about it. They do not go gently into that good night. I blinked at the poetic reference. rest thats whats going to ha ppen? Youre going to kill er, destroy it or something?Carter cocked his school principal toward me curiously. Whatd you think would happen? Ten years and parole?I dont know. I just figured wow. I dont know. Are you into that? The whole smiting thing? I mean, I suppose you guys vanquish evil on a well-ordered basis, huh?We smite, as you so cutely term it, when we have to. Demons tend to be more into it than we are. In position, Nanette even offered to come up and take care of this nephilim, he recalled, referring to Portlands archdemoness. But I told Jerome Id help.Wouldnt Jerome want to do it himself?Do you revoke backup when its offered? he asked me, answering my question with a question which, really, was no answer at all. Thinking about it, he laughed softly. Of course, I forget, Georgina rushes in where angels fear to tread.Yeah, yeah, I know how that quote really goes. I stood up and stretched. Well, if the excitements over, I think Ill take a bath.Wow. The harsh careersty le of a succubus. I lack I had your job.Hey, our sides always recruiting. You tycoon need to be a little prettier to be an incubus, though. And a little more charming.Untrue. deathly women go for jerks. I see it all the time.Touche.I left him and took my bath, by and by finally giving up my pajamas for jeans and a T-shirt. I re glum to the living room, cancelled on the television, and found The African-Queen just starting. Carter closed the laptop and watched with me. Id always wish Katharine Hepburn but couldnt help marvel at what a dull day this was turning out to be. Avoiding going outside wouldnt do me any good in the long term since Id have to drag Carter around with me tomorrow anyway when I went to work. My self-imposed enclosure today only elongated the inevitable. In light of this, I considered breaking the cabin fever by seeing if he cherished to go to dinner after the movie. He shot up before I could speak, once more percept a nephilim signature.Twice in one day?I t happens.Where now?Lynn wood.This guy gets around.But I was speaking to empty line of merchandise Carter had disappeared. Sighing, I turned back to the movie, feeling a little more at ease after the angels last explanation. The nephilim was in Lynnwood, trying to be a annoyance to Jerome and Carter. Commuting time was rapidly approa bring upg, and Lynnwood was no lesser jump away. No nephilim would beat the angel back. As Carter had pointed out, I was safe for the time being. I had no need to panic.Yet, I nearly jumped out of my climb anyway when I heard the phone ring a few minutes later. Nervously, I picked up the receiver, imagining a nephilim blasting out of it.Hello?Hey. Its me again.Seth. Hi. fancy Im not bothering you. I just wanted to see how you areBetter, I told him sincerely. I liked your e-mail.Did you? Cool.Our normal silence fell. So did you get a lot of writing make today?I did actually. About ten pages. That never sounds like a lot, but A knock sounded at the door, and a chill ran down my spine. Can-can you hang on?Sure.Hesitantly, I prowled toward the door like a cat burglar, as though slow and protracted movements would actually do something against an insanely precedentful supernatural being. Reaching the door, I carefully peered out the peephole.Roman.Exhaling with relief, I opened the door, resisting the urge to throw my coat of arms around him. Hi.Are you talking to me? asked Seth done the phone.Hi, Roman told me, looking just as uncertain as I felt. Can I come in? Er, no Im not, I mean, yes you can, and yes I am talking to you now. I stepped aside so Roman could enter. Look Seth, can I, um, call you back? Or maybe Ill just see you tomorrow, okay?Uh, yeah. I guess. Everything okay?Its fine. Thanks for calling.We hung up, and I gave Roman my full attention.Seth Mortensen, far-famed author?Ive been sick today, I explained, using the same excuse Id habituated Seth. He just wanted to check on me.Terribly tactful of him. Roman p ut his hands in his pockets and paced.Were just friends.Of course you are. Because you dont date, right field?Roman I cut off the trespass that wanted to rush out, switching to safer territory. Can I get you anything? Soda? Coffee?I cant stay. I was passing through and got your message. I just thought Id I dont know what I was thinking. It was stupid.He turned as if to leave, and I deadly reached out, grabbing his arm. Wait. Dont. divert.He turned to face me, looking down from his lofty height, the commonly good-humored face grave today. Fighting my natural reaction at such proximity, I felt surprised when his expression softened, and he noted, lightly astonished, You really arent feeling well.W-what give rises you say that? I had soma-shifted my bruises away as Jerome had suggested and whatever smarting pain I felt was no long-lasting visible.Gingerly, he reached out and stroked my cheek, fingers becoming bolder. I dont know youre just kind of pale, I guess.I started to point out I wasnt wearing slayup and then realized I wanted to appear sick. Probably a cold.He let his hand drop. Is there anything I can do for you? I dont like seeing you like thisLord, how bad did I look? Im fine. I just need rest. Look, about the other night Im sorry, he interrupted. I shouldnt have pushed you I stared, amazed. You didnt do anything. It was me. I was the nutjob. Im the one who couldnt handle things.No, it was my fault. I knew how you felt about getting serious, and I still kissed you.I did as much kissing as you. That wasnt the problem. Me freaking out was the problem. I was drunk and stupid. I shouldnt have done that to you.Its no problem. Really. Im just glad youre okay. A hand out smile glimmered on his handsome features, and I remembered Seth saying I was easy to forgive. Look, since we both feel were at fault, maybe we can make it up to each other. Go out sometime this week and No. The calm certainty in my voice startled both of us.Georgina No. Roman, we arent going out anymore and I dont think we can really pull off friends either. I swallowed. Itd be better if we just make a clean break Georgina, he exclaimed, look widening. You cant be serious. You and I I know. I know. But I cant do this. Not now.Youre breaking up with me.Well, we werent ever really going outWhat happened to you? he demanded. What happened to you at some point in your animation that made you so frightened of getting close to another person? What makes you run like this? Who pine you?Look, its complicated. And it doesnt matter. That past is gone, remember? I just cant do this with you now, okay?Is there someone else? Doug? Or Seth?No Theres no one. I just cant be with you.We went around and around, rephrasing the same points in different ways, our emotions maturation and growing. It felt like forever, but really only a few minutes passed as he pressed and I refused. He never turned angry or pushy, but his dismay was clearly apparent, and I felt certain Id cry as soon as he left.Finally, glancing at the time, he ran a hand ruefully through his raunchy hair, turquoise eye luminous with regret. I have to go. I want to talk to you more No. I dont think we should. Its better. Ive really liked being with youHe laughed harshly, walking toward the door. Dont say that. Dont sugar coat things.Roman I felt horrible. Anger and grief were written all over his face. Please understand See you around, Georgina. Or maybe not.He had that slammed the door when tears spilled down my cheeks. Going to my bedroom, I lay down on my bed, ready for a good cry that never came. No more tears issued forth, in spite of my mixed feelings of despair and relief. bump of me wanted to call Roman back right now, make him return to me the other part coolly warned I now had clear condition to cut Seth off as soon as possible before things escalated.Good Lord, why did it seem I was always smart peck I cared about? What was it about me that made me repeat this steering wheel over and over? Romans devastated face still hovered in my mind, but I took comfort in the fact that he hadnt been traumatized as much as Kyriakos. Not nearly as much.The discovery of my affair with Ariston had led to chiding from both our families and an impending divorce coupled with the loss of my dowry. I think I might have been able to handle that scorn, even the base looks. What I could not handle was the way Kyriakos had been spare of all life history and caring. I almost wished he would turn angry and lash out at me, but there was nothing like that within him. Nothing at all. I had destroyed him.After several days of separation, I found him sitting on one of the rocky outcroppings overlooking the water. I tried to engage him in conversation a number of times, but he wasnt responding to any of it. He would only stare out at that expanse of blue, face dead and expressionless.I stood by him, my own emotions move inside me. I had reveled in being a forbidden bearing of propensity with Ariston, but I also wanted to be one of love with Kyriakos. I couldnt have it both ways apparently.I reached out to wipe the tears from his cheeks, and he slapped my hand away. It was the closest he had ever come to hitting me.Dont, he warned, leaping up. Dont ever touch me again. You go down me.I felt my own tears now, even if his anger meant he was still alive. Please it was a mistake. I dont know what happened.He laughed hollowly, a terrible, mirthless sound. Dont you? You seemed to know perfectly well at the time. So did he.It was a mistake.He turned his back to me and walked over to the edge of the cliff, staring out at the sea. He spread his arms out and tipped his head back, letting the wind blow over him. Gulls cried nearby. Wh-what are you doing?I am flying, he told me. If I keep flying right over this edge, I pull up stakes be quick again. Or better yet, I wont feel anything at all. I wont think about you anymore. I wont think about your fac e or your eyes or the way you smile or the way you smell. I wont love you anymore. I wont hurt anymore.I approached him, half-afraid my presence would make him go over. Stop it. Youre scaring me. You dont mean any of this.Dont I?He looked at me, and there was no more anger or cynicism. provided grief. Sorrow. Despair. Depression blacker than a moonless night. It was terrible and frightening. I wanted him to focus at me again, to yell at me. I would have even let him hit me, if only to see some sort of heat in him. There was none of that, though. Only darkness.He gave me a sad, bleak smile. The smile of one already dead.I will never forgive you.PleaseYou were my life, Letha but no more. No more. I have no life now.He walked away, and even as my heart broke, I exhaled in relief to see him moving away from the cliff. I wanted to run after him but gave him his space instead. Sitting down in his spot, I force my knees up and buried my face in them, half wishing I was dead.Hell come ba ck here, you know, a voice suddenly said keister me. The pull is too strong. And next time, he may go over.I jerked my head up, startled. I hadnt heard anyone approach. I didnt be intimate the man who now stood there, odd in a town where everyone knew everyone else. He was slim and well-groomed, dressed to the nines(p) in clothes more elegant than I usually power saw around here.Who are you?They call me Niphon, he said with a small bow. And you are Letha, Marthanes daughter, formerly wife of Kyriakos.I still am his wife.But not for long.I turned my face away. What do you want?I want to help you, Letha. Id like to help you with this mess youve gotten yourself into.No one can help me. Not unless you can undo the past.No. No one can undo the past. I can make people forget it, though.I slowly turned back to him, assessing his bright eyes and dapper manner. Stop joking. Im not in the mood.I assure you, I am most earnest.Staring at him, I suddenly somehow knew he was telling the trut h, as impossible as it was to believe. Later I would learn that Niphon was an imp, but at the time, I had only sensed that he had a strange air about him, the whispering of power that promised he really could do what he said.How?His eyes gleamed, not unlike Hughs when he was on the edge of a major deal. To erase the memory of what youve done is no small feat. It carries a price.Can you make me forget too?No. But I can make everyone else forget. Your family, your friends, the town. Him.I dont know I dont think I could go back to them then. Even if they didnt remember, I still would. I couldnt face Kyriakos like that. Unless I hesitated, wondering if it might not be better never to come in involvement with them again. Can you make them forget me altogether? Make it like Ive never been born?Niphondrew a sharp, excited breath. Yes, oh yes. But a favor like that a favor like that carries an even higher priceHed explained it to me then, what Id have to give in return to completely blot m e from the minds of those Id know. My soul was a given. Id carry it as long as I walked the earth, but it would have a lease on it, so to speak. That was the standard price for any hellish deal. But hell wanted more of me my eternal serve well in the corruption of souls. I would spend the rest of my days seducing men, fulfilling their fantasies for my own gain and for those whom I served. It was an ironic fate, considering what had brought me to this point.To aid me, Id gain the king to take any form I chose, as well as the power to enhance my own charm. And of course, Id have eternal life. Immortality and invulnerability. For some, that might have been put on alone.Youd be good. One of the best. I can sense it within you. Imps had the ability to look into a persons soul and nature. Most people think believe is only in the body, but its here too. He touched my forehead. And you would never die. You would stay young and beautiful forever, until the earth perishes.And after that?H e smiled. Thats a long way off, Letha, whereas your husbands life is at stake now.That had been what sold me. The experience that I could save Kyriakos and give him a new life, a life free of me where he would have a chance to be happy once more. A life where I could slink away from my rase and maybe even be rightfully punished. My soul which I just understood anyway seemed a small price. Id agreed to the bargain, first shaking on it, then putting my sea gull on paperwork I couldnt read. Niphon left me, and I returned to town. It was eerily simple.When I returned, it was exactly as he had promised. The wish had already been carried out. No one knew me. Passing people people Id known my entire life gave me the glances reserved for strangers. My own sisters walked by me without recognition. I wanted to find Kyriakos, to see if it was the same for him, but I couldnt muster the courage. I didnt want him to see my face, not ever again, even if he didnt recognize it. So I spent the day wandering, trying to accept the fact that I was gone to these people. It was harder than I thought it would be. And sadder.When nightfall came, I recede again to the outskirts of town. I had nowhere to stay, after all. No family or friends. Instead, I sat in the dark, watching the moon and stars, wondering what I was sibyllic to do now. The answer came quickly.She rose almost from the ground, at first be as nothing more than a shadow, then gradually coalescing into the shape of a woman. The air vibrated with power around her, and suddenly I felt suffocated. I backed up, terror filling every part of me, my lungs ineffective to take in air. Wind rose from nowhere, whipping my hair and flattening the smoking around me.Then, she stood before me, and the night was still again. Lilith. Queen of the Succubi. Lady of the Night. The offset Woman.Fear like I had never known swept over me and lust. I had never been attracted to a woman before, but Lilith has that effect on everyone . It is fixed in her being. No one can resist her.She wore a tall, slim shape that night, willowy and lovely. Her skin was the pale white of the noblesse of that time a white never achieved by those of us who worked outside regularly. Her hair was a ravens wing of black, falling in gleaming waves to her ankles. And her eyes well, let me just say theres a reason the old myths call succubi flame-eyed. Her eyes were beautiful and deadly, promising anything you could ever want or desire if only you would let her help you. I still cant remember what colourize they were, but I could not look away from them that night.Letha, she crooned, approaching me. The air shimmered around her, and I actually trembled now from my desire. I wanted to run but instead sank to my knees, both from respect and the inability to stand. She came to me and tipped my chin so that I had to look in those eyes again. Sharp, black nails cut into painfully into my skin, and it felt wonderful. You will be my own daughter now, dispersal discord and passion for the rest of your days. You will be both punisher and tester, a creature of both dreams and nightmares. Mortals will do anything for you, just for a touch. You will be loved and desired until the earth is dust.I whimpered at her proximity, and then she moved closer still, lifting me up so I stood before her. Those elysian lips came to mine, and that kiss shot orgasmic pleasure through my body. My cries were lost, smothered in that kiss. I closed my eyes, unable to look at her and unable to break away. I soaked into that ecstasy pulsing over and over in my body. And yet, as I let that bliss consume me, something else happened too.My mortality was being stripped away.It felt like disintegrating, like I had become ashes in the wind. I wondered if that was how death felt. Like you were nothing. Gone. Then, just as quickly, I was put back together, myself once more. But I could feel the power burning through me now, different from the life that filled humans. My immortality shone like a star in the night, cold and pure. No longer would old age threaten. No longer would sickness haunt me. No longer would my flesh be stormily driven by the knowledge that time was short, that I had to leave my mark on the world. That I had to pass on my blood.I opened my eyes, and the onslaught of pleasure disappeared. So did Lilith. I stood alone in the darkness, quivering with my newfound power. And with that power, I could feel something more an itch in my flesh. An itch that told me my skin could become anything I wanted it to be with only a thought. I was reborn. I was empowered.And I was hungryWhats wrong?Blinking back tears, I looked up at Carter. He stood in the doorway to my bedroom, pushing a lock of hair out of his eyes, face concerned.Nothing, I muttered, burying my face in my pillow. No nephilim ?No nephilim. An awkward pause followed. Look are you sure youre okay? Because you dont look okay.Im fine. Didnt you hear me?He st ill wouldnt give up, though. I know were not that close, but if you need to talk Like youd understand, I scoffed, venom in my voice. Youve never had a heart. You dont know what its like, so dont even pretend like you do.Georgina.Go. Away. Please.I turned back toward my pillow, waiting for another protest, but none came. When I dared a peek, the angel was gone.